cumaddict72:

chekhov:

So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world

you need to be arrested

jill-bird:

You see Spongebob,  It’s a metaphor. You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but never give it the power to kill you.

jill-bird:

You see Spongebob,
It’s a metaphor. You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but never give it the power to kill you.

poweredbytheprofane:

the best of hot occupations, side by side.

sylvehun:

holy shit

guy:

tell someone to look and they’ll ignore you. but tell someone not to look and they’ll turn their head faster than it takes a straight white boy to ask for nudes during 21 questions

oedipus-sex:

imagine your current friend group but dwayne the rock johnson is an unquestioned part of it

loserpoet:

it’s a metaphor

loserpoet:

it’s a metaphor

joydick:

asking whats for dinner is scary because it could make or break your night

hoohah:

i didn’t think they’d actually use the quote but they did

hoohah:

i didn’t think they’d actually use the quote but they did

when he snapchats first

when he snapchats first

cosmo sex tip #669

allaboardthekevintran:

when you grab his shaft, yell “pull the lever kronk”

plasticbagvevo:

when you hear somebody talking about one of your interests

image